How to give feedback to your manager
Upward feedback is one of the most useful levers in a manager relationship, and almost no one uses it. Here's how to do it without it backfiring.
Nobody tells you that giving feedback upward is an option. The power dynamic implies the information should only flow one way: they tell you what to work on, you work on it. But the most effective manager relationships flow both directions, and managers who never hear feedback from their direct reports make the same avoidable mistakes for years because no one was willing to say the thing.
This is the rare move that sounds scary and costs almost nothing when executed correctly.
What upward feedback actually is
Upward feedback is information you give your manager about how they’re managing you: something that would help your working relationship, a behavior that’s creating friction, a communication style that’s leaving you unclear. It’s distinct from complaining about a decision you disagree with, which is a different conversation with different stakes.
The goal of good upward feedback is to improve the working relationship, not to vent or to win. If your goal is venting, find a friend. If your goal is change, this is the post.
What your manager is trying to do
Most managers genuinely want to know when something isn’t working. The problem is they’re often operating on incomplete information: they don’t know you’re confused by their Slack messages, they don’t know the abrupt meeting cancellations land as dismissive, they don’t know you’re unclear on which of their three stated priorities is actually first. They’re navigating their own calendar and pressure and making assumptions about what’s landing.
Managers who don’t get feedback get worse over time. Managers who receive clear, actionable feedback from direct reports improve. You are also in the feedback loop. The question is whether you’re a useful input or not.
What good vs. bad looks like
Bad upward feedback sounds like: “Sometimes I feel like my contributions aren’t valued.” That sentence has no actionable content. Your manager can’t change “sometimes.” They can’t operationalize “feel.” They will nod, express some version of “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and nothing will change.
Good upward feedback sounds like: “In our last two 1:1s, the meeting ended before we got to the growth section. I want to make sure we’re covering that regularly. Can we protect 10 minutes for it?” Specific behavior. Concrete ask. Easy for them to act on.
The test: after the conversation, can your manager do something differently tomorrow? If yes, it was good feedback. If not, it was an expression of feeling, which is valid and also not the same thing.
The framing that makes it land
Three conditions that make upward feedback go better rather than worse:
Private, not public. Upward feedback in a group setting puts your manager on the defensive. It reads as a challenge to their authority, regardless of your intent. One-on-one, in your 1:1, is the right context.
After something good, not after something bad. Giving feedback in the middle of a friction moment makes the feedback look like a reaction. Delivering it during a good stretch, when the relationship has credit, makes it land as information, not complaint.
Framed around your need, not their failure. “I need more context when priorities shift” lands differently than “you keep changing the priorities without explaining why.” Same underlying information. The first invites a response. The second invites a defense.
The script
In your next 1:1, after the main agenda, before the meeting ends:
“I wanted to bring something up that I think would help our working relationship. Is that okay?”
They’ll say yes.
“I’ve noticed that [specific behavior, described factually]. When that happens, I end up [effect on your work: confused, uncertain, unable to prioritize]. Would it be possible to [specific change]?”
Example:
“I’ve noticed that our 1:1 agenda sometimes gets moved to cover urgent topics, and we end up not covering the growth section. When that happens, I lose track of where I should be developing. Could we protect the last 10 minutes for that, even when we’re pressed on time?”
Pause. Let them respond. Don’t fill the silence.
Most managers who receive feedback this way say something like “that’s fair, yes.” A few will be mildly surprised. Almost none will be hostile if the framing is right. The ones who are hostile to clearly framed, private, constructive feedback are giving you different information about the relationship, and that’s worth knowing too.
What you’re building
Every time you give upward feedback well, you’re establishing yourself as a person who communicates directly and professionally. That is not a small signal. It tells your manager that you’re someone who handles difficulty without going around them, which is one of the highest-trust moves available to an early-career employee.
Use this move once or twice a year, when you have something real and actionable to share. Overusing it for every minor friction is exhausting for both parties. Using it at the right moment, with the right framing, is one of the more underrated career accelerators in this archive.
Further reading
Filed under: Managing Up , Career Development
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