Asking your boss for a raise: scripts and strategies
The script matters less than you think. The prep matters more. Here are the strategies and exact words that make the raise conversation land.
The raise conversation is the one career move almost everyone needs to make and almost no one practices. You know it’s coming. You know what you want to say. You still freeze when you sit down across from your manager.
The freeze isn’t lack of confidence. It’s lack of a clear script. Here’s the one that works, and the strategies behind each line.
Why the script matters
Left to our own devices, most of us default to the version that undersells us: we apologize for the ask, we hedge the number, we ask for permission to want what we want. “I don’t know if this is the right time, but I was wondering if maybe we could talk about, like, potentially revisiting my salary?”
That script signals anxiety about whether you deserve the thing you’re asking for. Anxiety is contagious. Your manager picks it up and starts wondering whether you do deserve it.
The alternative isn’t arrogance. It’s clarity. Here are the scripts that land that quality.
The request to have the meeting
Send this as a message or raise it at the end of a 1:1:
“I’d like to schedule some time to talk about my compensation. Can we find 20 minutes this week or next?”
Not: “I’ve been thinking about whether I might be able to, at some point, bring up the topic of salary.”
Specific, confident, low-friction. The meeting is just a meeting. Nothing bad is happening yet.
The opening of the actual conversation
Start with the outcomes, not the ask:
“Over the last [12 months / since we last talked about this], I’ve [specific win #1] and [specific win #2]. I’ve also expanded my scope to include [X], which wasn’t part of the original role.”
You’re not bragging. You’re providing the material your manager needs to justify the ask to whoever they report to.
The market context line
After the outcomes, one sentence of market data:
“I looked at comparable roles in [city], and the range for this level is [range]. I’m currently below the midpoint.”
This reframes the conversation from “I want more” to “the market has moved and we should align.” You’re not making a personal complaint. You’re reporting external data.
The ask itself
One sentence, no hedging, specific number:
“I’m targeting [specific number or range]. What would it take to get there?”
That last question, “what would it take to get there?”, is the move most people miss. It’s not passive (“I hope you’ll consider this”). It’s active. You’re inviting your manager into the problem-solving and signaling that you understand it may not be a straight yes.
The response scripts
If they say yes or “I’ll look into it”:
“Thank you. What’s the timeline, and how should I expect to hear back?”
Don’t let it go vague. A specific date keeps the conversation alive.
If they say the timing is wrong:
“I understand. When would be the right window, and what would I need to demonstrate to make this a strong yes?”
You’re asking for criteria and a timeline. Both are reasonable. If they can’t give you either, that’s information about how seriously to take the deferral.
If they say the budget isn’t there:
“Okay. If base isn’t possible right now, are there other levers we could explore: additional PTO, an earlier review date, a clear path to when the budget unlocks?”
This isn’t a gotcha. It’s genuine. Sometimes the budget genuinely isn’t there. Finding adjacent levers shows you’re solving for the relationship, not just the number.
The strategy behind the scripts
Every script above follows the same logic: state facts, make a clear ask, ask a clarifying question. No emotion, no apologizing, no hedging the number.
The most common place people derail: after stating the number, they immediately start softening it. “I was thinking around $X, obviously I’m flexible on that, I don’t want to be unreasonable, I just thought…” Stop. Say the number. Let silence do the rest of the work. Silence after a clear ask reads as confidence. Filling it reads as retreat.
What to do after the conversation
Send a three-line follow-up that same day or the next morning:
“Wanted to close the loop from our conversation earlier. My target is [X]. I’ll plan to follow up on [date] if I haven’t heard back. Thanks for making time to discuss this.”
That email creates a record, confirms the number, and sets an expectation for follow-up. It also removes the “I forgot we talked about this” from the possible excuses.
The raise conversation isn’t a test of whether you’re liked. It’s a test of whether you can advocate for yourself clearly. Every time you do it, it gets a little less hard, and the outcomes improve.
Further reading
Filed under: Compensation , Career Development
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